Listen ye skalliwags, me favorite day is approachin' quick (barely half-a-fortnight!), and I expect this here ship to be ready. Swab the decks, and fly the Jolly Roger, 'cuz we've got ships to scuttle, and grog to swill! Arrrrr!!!
Just got these TLAPD pointers from Cap'n Slappy, and Ol' Chumbucket themselves:
* Aaarr! – Intersperse it into your conversation to add a patina of pirattitude! But remember – A little Aarrr! goes a long way.
* Me hearties – When all else fails, throw "me hearties" into any conversation. "Fill it with unleaded, me hearties!" "The doctor will see you now, me hearties!" "I'll have a pepperoni pizza with anchovies, me hearties!" See? You sound just like a freebooter fillin' his tank, or visitin' the doctor or whatever!
* At work – Don't answer the phone, "Hello? This is marketing ...." or whatever department ye work in. Scrunch up yer face and bellow into the blower, "Ahoy ye scurvy dog! How can I scuttle ye today!"
* At school – yer teacher is cap'n, yer principal is Admiral Wobblebottom, the class is yer crew and lunch is prepared in the galley.
* At parties and buccaneer bashes all weekend long – Make yer entrance to the cry, "Boarders away!" and make sure that any lubbers there know exactly who has the pirattitude and who doesn't.
* Where ever you are – Start the day by sending everyone you know a hearty "Aarrr!" in their e-mail or by phone. Ye'll feel better for it.