Eight Eight Eight

Eight. My favorite number since my neighbor told me his was Seven. I didn't want to copy him, so I decided that Eight would be my favorite. After all, it's snowman shaped, and I like the snow. It has no sharp edges, matches the number of bits in a byte, is 2^3 (both prime numbers), and is the total number of fingers most people have on their hands (not counting thumbs, of course). The can of Mt. Dew I'm drinking right now has 12 oz, but it's my second can, so I've nearly finished 24 oz, which is 8 * 3.

Today is August 8, 2008, which can be correctly described as "eight eight eight", which means today should be my most favorite day ever. Hmmm, nothing special about today, except maybe that the Beijing Olympics is starting. Google has a neat graphic to commemorate this fact:



I'm working from home, which is always nice (I eat lunch with my family, instead of in my never-the-right-temperature office). I fixed two software bugs already this morning, and I'm on the verge of fixing another. Isis stock price is up 8% (well, 8.25% to be exact), and that would be nice if I had shares to sell. Still, it means the company is doing well, and that's good for job security.

I hear a lot of people are trying to have their babies or get married on 8/8/8. There are those that are even shooting for 8am or 8pm, as the recorded time for the event, so that they can be 8/8/8 @ 8.

For me, 8 is still just my favorite number, and no, my ATM PIN is NOT 8888.

Futility

(Click the pic for full size view)

Our Pool

In June, we had this sudden urge to have a pool installed in our backyard. It's something we've wanted to do for years, but until recently, it's only been a dream. I'm not sure what changed, but we decided to take the plunge (pun intended) and do this thing!

After hearing a few quotes, we decided to go with Indian Summer Pools. The owner/salesman/CEO was very knowledgeable, and appeared to have a VERY good rapport with his previous customers. He lives in the area, and has connections with several friends of ours. We knew that he was the best choice, and boy were we right!

Here's what our backyard looked like BEFORE (click on the picture for a bigger version):



Actually, I took this picture AFTER the grass had been removed, but before anything else had been done. Notice the tree coverage - we have a couple of Eucalyptus trees growing there. What a pain! Every time there's any kind of wind, branches go flying, and that's no little thing! These branches are DENSE and HEAVY! I was afraid it might hurt somebody someday, so I asked that both trees be removed before the pool was put in.

Anyway, 5 weeks after the picture above was taken, this is what it looks like now:



Can you see the difference? I know it's sleight, but it's there, especially in regards to that big wet thing in the middle! ;-) Seriously though, we jumped in the pool for the first time on Friday (July 11, 2008), and we've been swimming ever since. That rock like thing in the center of the picture is actually a grotto/waterfall, and a great place to launch yourself for a cannonball!

The pool itself covers 460 sq ft (+52 sq ft for the spa), and goes down to 7 feet deep. I think I heard that it holds 22000 gallons of water. Want to see more? I photo documented the whole process, from excavation to finished product here if you are interested. Now if you don't mind, it's like a hundred degrees outside, and I'm going to take a dip!

Global Disease Alert Map

Here's a google map EVERYONE can enjoy:

http://www.healthmap.org/en

Want to know where the latest Cholera outbreak is? Wondering which kids really have the Measles? Maybe you just suspect the guy across the street as having Anthrax. Now you can check it all out in one easy to use interface. Fun for the whole family!

Bill grogan's goat

I was humming this song from summer camp today, and it made me want to see if I could find the lyrics. Well, I did, and now I'm singing it proudly at the top of my lungs in my office:

Bill Grogan's goat
Was feelin' fine
Ate three red shirts
Right off the line

Bill took a stick
Gave him a whack
And tied him to
The railroad track

The whistle blew
The train drew nigh
Bill Grogan's goat
Was doomed to die

He gave three groans
Of awful pain
Coughed up the shirts
And flagged the train

That's all there is
This story's done
I hope you had
A lot of fun

Julie

I don't know who Julie is, but this video probably doesn't look anything like her:



All I know is, this is the weirdest thing I've seen on You-Tube for a long time. For some reason, it makes me laugh more and more every time I see it, just because it is so WRONG!!!

(oh, don't ask me why the author of this perverted video tweak chose to use a dog barking as the soundtrack, but it definitely adds to the creepiness!)

WARNING: I would strongly recommend AGAINST watching the "suggested" videos that follow the video above. They show a bunch of deformed people and babies in an unfriendly light. I almost didn't post this video for that reason alone, but since the "Julie" video is not real, figured I'd be okay as long as I posted a special warning. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

ISAD

Arrr!! Today be International Scurvey Awareness Day!! So eat a lime already!!

- Cap'n Dewbeard

Pleasing Government Commerce

I heard about this on the radio, and thought it was pretty funny. Apparently the Office of Government Commerce in England ordered the new logo to:

...signify a bold commitment to the body’s aim of improving value for money by driving up standards and capability in procurement.

For £14,000, here's what they got:



... but if you turn it sideways ...



... you get a whole 'nother meaning! I doubt they'll be erecting any signs with the new logo anytime soon. ;-)

German Engineering vs Terrorists

This is worth sharing:



Dude, sucks for him!

Silverlight Einsteinchen

You'll have to install Microsoft's "Silverlight" to see it, but that only takes a second. This website (click the title above) has a bunch of little videos starring a very strange looking character. Einsteinchen demonstrates the theory of relativity in a way that most people can understand. There are 12 videos in all, and they are quite enjoyable.

Now that I've watched them all, I think I'm ready to build my own time machine!

The Time Machine Works!!

I've gone back in time, and am writing this blog entry TWO DAYS BEFORE my "Silverlight Einsteinchen" entry above. Sweeet!!! Now I'm off to buy a lottery ticket. He he he.

Racist Swim Team?

My oldest daughter had her first home swim meet yesterday, and it was a blast. Lots of different races, and lots of kids competing. I got recruited as an official timer for the second half of the meet, which I guess is a normal thing for parents at these things.

Anyway, they are supposed to post the results on their website at some point, so we can see how they did. I know that she did good in the freestyle, but it was hard to know how she compared to the other girls that raced in the other heats. I went to the website, and though the results aren't yet posted at the time of this writing, I noticed an interesting bit of text on their home page:

As a reminder, the Home Meets are intended for WHITE swimmers only.

Sheesh! Harsh enough! I swear I saw kids of all races at the meet!! I'll be sure to make sure THAT doesn't happen at the next one. "Hey, THAT kid isn't WHITE!!! Get her out of the pool!!!"

Um, wait. I think they mean something else. Let's see what the whole paragraph says:

Thank You to all the upper level TMEC swimmers that come to the Home Meet to help out and cheer on your fellow swimmers trying to acheive RED times!!

As a reminder, the Home Meets are intended for WHITE swimmers only. Once a swimmer has achieved a RED time in any event they may not swim in that event at the Home Meets unless they have aged up and need to achieve a RED time in the new age group.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I see. It's a racing thing, not a race thing. Huh??!?!?!

Greeebs.

Dew Monkey!!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Wii Head Tracking

This is VERY cool. I have a Nintendo Wii, but I would never have imagined I could do what this guy did with his:



If I didn't have like a million other hobbies I'm firing up right now, I'd consider trying this out myself!

Click on the title to go to Johnny Lee's Wii Remote webpage to see other cool things.

R.I.P. Gary Gygax

I just learned that Gary Gygax lost his last few hit points this morning. For those of you that don't know, Gary Gygax was one of the co-creators of Dungeons & Dragons, and was one of the biggest influences in my young life. I still remember breaking open my "Basic D&D" box, cutting out the die chits, and playing a D&D module (B1?) with my next door neighbor. I never had so much fun in my life, and I still look back at those days with much fondness.

Thank you Gary Gygax, and may you find a new treasure type in the next existence!

Update: No, a 70th level cleric did not resurrect Gary Gygax, but Order of the Stick did do a nice tribute to the dragon lord:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0536.html

Check it out!

AMD Dual Core Optimizer

Ever since I bought my AMD Athlon 64 X2 Dual Core, I've regretted it. Don't get me wrong: I love AMD chips, and have never had a problem before this one. Turns out, that the AMD Dual Core just doesn't play nice with a LOT of things, and this just KILLS all kinds of applications, games, movies, etc.

The typical problem is this: you start an application, and it appears to run very very slowly, or jerky. You get impatient, and pull up the task manager, which takes FOREVER. You discover that your application is utilizing 100% CPU ON BOTH CORES!!! DAMN!!!

My most recent problems have occurred within a cool game called "The Movies", and in Microsoft's XNA Game Studio. After doing some searching, I came across something called an AMD Dual Core Optimizer. The heck is that? Apparently, it helps control the behavior of the chip, when software vendors decide to go around the windows API, and do direct calls (which apparently is the reason for the issue).

Well, I can tell you, I installed this puppy, and all is wonderful again! My XNA is working (mostly), and "The Movies" appears to be playing nice again. If you have an AMD Dual Core, I recommend taking a look at the link above. Be sure you know what chip you have before installing anything though: I can't be held responsible for anything that you might do wrong!! (whew, disclaimer out of the way)

Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo

BPPV is the cool acronym you can use, but it still means dizzy dizzy dizzy.

About three nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night and the room was spinning around me. Unusual, but not the first time its ever happened to me. A couple of years ago when I had a sinus infection, I was quite dizzy for several days, until I finally got smart, and got some antibiotics.

The odd thing this time around, is that I knew I wasn't congested. I decided to ignore it, and go back to sleep. The next morning, I got out of bed, and the room spun out of control. Before I knew what was happening, I was lying on my back in the middle of the bed, trying to focus on the fire detector on the ceiling. Round and round and round it went for a few seconds, and then everything settled down, and I was back in control.

I got up slowly, and though there was still a little dizziness, it went away quickly. The rest of the day I was fine, and had no further episodes. That is, until I went back to bed that evening. Once again the room spun out of control, and I'm left feeling disoriented and light-headed.

This has continued happening to me now for three days. Of course I'm worried, so I decide to make a fool out of myself, and head to the Urgent care clinic. I explain my condition to the doctor, and he surprises me by immediately recognizing it as a form of vertigo.

To test his theory he applies a technique that is called a Semont maneuver (see link above for details). Essentially, he has me sitting facing the wall, and then lies my head back, and then quickly turns my head to the right. That does it! I'm swimming in vertigo for a good 10 seconds before I land.

The doctor explains that this indicates the problem is in my right inner ear. To prove this, he repeats the procedure, but turns my head to the left. To my surprise, there is no dizziness at all. After allowing me to sit up, and suffer the dizziness again for a few seconds, he explains that I have a mild case of BPPV or Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo.

The cause? One common cause is the formation of small crystals of calcium carbonate in the inner ear (also known as "Ear Rocks" - dude, I have Ear Rocks?), and the motion of these particles mess up the normal sensation of balance. One of the most common things that leads to this is a head injury, but since I've not had any such injury, this is unlikely. It is also possible that a virus is infecting my inner ear, though this is less common.

The cure? Its very likely it could go away on its own. Still, the primary treatment for BPPV, is physical therapy. The article linked above describes the therapy (Semont and Epley maneuvers) and is probably what I'll have to undergo, once I have a chance to see my primary physician.

Of course, that's going to have to wait until I return from my trip to Washington DC to install software for clients. Wait until they find out I have Ear Rocks!! Dude!!

TV Tropes Wiki

I came across this website quite by accident (click title above). It catalogs cliches present in our TV and Movie culture, and then gives sample representations. For example, a Squick is described as a "negative emotional response, more specifically a disturbed or disgusted one.". The movie Labyrinth contains a Squick, which the author describes as "a 15 year-old being romantically pursued ("let me rule you!") and watched over by an stretchy pants-wearing goblin king (David Bowie at 39)".

Take a look at some of these others, which define the plots of many movies, tv shows, and even entire series:

• Embarrassing Middle Name
  
• Be Careful What You Wish For
  
• Dead Man Walking

Here's something funny that happened when I first visited the wiki. I tried to go to the home page, and I got this message:

The database hates you right now. The entry might exist or it might not exist. We would clear this mystery up for you, if we could get to the database. We tried to look it up, but the database puked up an error.

I thought that was pretty darned funny.

Elf THIS!

I was wandering through the mountains in my green tights, when suddenly did I come apon some Mountain Dew Elves! See what transpired by clicking on the title link above!

Reflections of a Soccer Mom

When the hard drive on our main computer crashed, we realized that it would take many months, if not years, to realize what all we lost. One thing we learned right away, is that the collection of monthly letters that my wife wrote for our preschool coop newsletter were gone. Some inspirational, others informative, and all with her unique sense of humor. Gone.

Though we could probably dig through stacks of old newsletters, and perhaps find one or two, one thing we knew for sure: we didn't want to lose any more. Besides having a better backup strategy, I realized that maybe a blog could help. It would serve two purposes. It would give us a second place to capture the letters for all time, and give my wife a place to jot her thoughts, and tell her stories. She enjoys writing, and maybe this is just the excuse to do a lot more of it.

There is born the "Reflections of a Soccer Mom" blog. There are only two letters there now, but are worth the read if you have a few minutes. I do realize that I have definite bias towards her work, but I think she is a very talented writer. If I can just get her past the "geek-factor" involved with maintaining a blog, I think it just could work.

Green Towel

Sometimes at my work, employees will send e-mails out to the entire company, without realizing they are out of context. This one struck my funny bone:

I have a green towel at my desk...that is no longer needed...
Thank you.

Red Moon

I went in to work today, and on my drive home, I noticed the nearly full moon as it appears behind a sky of smoke. The colors here are not altered, and this is pretty darned close to the way it looks tonight. I tried a longer exposure, but with the whole earth rotation thing going on, it just ended up like a blur.

I suppose a Red Moon poem would be appropriate here, but I just don't got it in me. I did find a poem online that sounded pretty cool, though its a bit too otherworldly for my taste.

If you have one to share, please do!

Smoke to the South

The winds have died down, but now the smoke is descending on us. This is what we got to see when we got up this morning (looking southeast here - San Diego is due south):



That reddish-orange glow is where the sun is supposed to be. My office is closed again today. Looking to the west, it looks like the end of the world:



So far we've fared pretty well. The most we suffered is a broken tree from the gale force winds we've been having:



Right now, the winds are eerily calm, and there is a kind of unpleasant heat coming from everywhere at once. The smell of smoke is slight right now, but it will likely get worse as it descends on Temecula. I'm surprised they're letting the kids go to school here. At least the lack of wind will help the firefighters do their job.

Wildfires and Santa Ana

Man, these Santa Ana winds are insane. They've already broken off a big chunk of one of my trees in the backyard, and destroyed a couple of EZ-ups in our neighborhood. Still, I'll take that over the fires that are engulfing the areas to the north and south of us right now. There is so much stuff in the air, your eyes water when you go outside, and visibility is terrible.

Right now, I'm just hoping we aren't evacuated, like so many other Southern Californians right now! If these damned winds would just die down, the firefighters could do their jobs.

Substitutiary Locomotion

Treguna...Mekoites...Tracorum...Satis...Dee

Substitutiary Locomotion
Mystic power that's far
Beyond the wildest notion
It's so weird,
So feared, Yet wonderful to see
Substitutiary Locomotion come to me

Treguna, Mekoites, Tracorum, Satis Dee
Treguna, Mekoites, Tracorum, Satis Dee

I don't want Locomotiary Substitution
Or remote Intransecory Convolution
Only one precise solution is the key
Substitutiary Locomotion it must be
Treguna, Mekoites, Tracorum, Satis Dee

Substitutiary Locomotion
Lovely Substitutiary Locomotion
You've made substitutiary history
With Treguna, Mekoites, and a little help from me
With Treguna, Mekoites, and Tracorum Satis Dee

Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!

Tis true, another TLAPD is apon us! Drink ye rum,



make sure ye software is pirated,


and toss a coin to yer first mate!



Oh, and don't forget to get ye a real pirate name!

- Pirate Walt the Ochre

Zooming in on my house

This image slowly zooms in on my house. See if you can spot it before it zooms all the way in!

Trying out Polls

Blogger just added the ability to add a poll to the sidebar. I think I'm going to try it out. Go ahead and vote already!!

The Flying Spaghetti Monster vs the Invisible Pink Unicorn

I know, I know. This blog is turning into another video blog, but what the heck, I'm in charge here, and I thought this was pretty funny:



Reminds me of when I first saw Trogdor, the Burninator!

Check out all his majesty!!

Fujiya & Miyagi

I have no idea what the words mean, or who the band is here, but this is a great video. Using the dots on dice to do these animations is just too cool! It amazes me how little information our brains need to see the images, especially in terms of motion.

Ankle Injuries

More Videos

Um, I just rolled a 4 trillion.

USB Missile Launcher

Attention office mates! Drop your mice, put down your coffee mugs, and prepare to be boarded! The missiles are deployed, and ready for launch!



This is too cool. I'm seriously considering getting one of these things. It would be so great when people walk by my office, and see the missile launcher turning towards them: FIRE!! Down goes the mug! FIRE!! Down go the photocopies! FIRE!! Ooops... um.... Hi boss!! What's that? You want one too!! :-)

Domino PCs

Here's something neat you can do with all thoses extra computers you have lying around:

Lego Chaingun

This is pretty neat. This guy built a chaingun out of Legos that can fire rubberbands at 11 rounds per second. You can't really appreciate how cool this is until you look at the video:

Now I have all the pieces I need to build my Lego super robot!! Bwoo-hah-hah-haa!!!

(Well, I have the gun at least!)

LASIK at home... Really?

OMG, this can't be for real. I'm scared enough as it is, regarding LASIK, and though I'd love to be contact/glasses-free, I'm not quite ready for LASIK. This home kit (if this isn't a joke, which I suspect it is), is too much.

The "How to" cartoon (above, but better seen here) shows how its done in "Four Easy Steps". Find a place without distractions? Yeah, THAT sounds promising.

FFFFVVVTT!! "Ouch!! Gol' danged phone!! Now I'm friggin' blind!!"

My favorite part of the cartoon, is the last frame, where it shows you enjoying all the benefits of perfect vision... including standing next to a target on an archery range!! LOL

Oh, and "Perform the painless procedure" has a footnote that reads "This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA" I think I'm going to order this kit right away!! For $100, its worth the risk of messing up my eyes!!

UPDATE: Okay, I did some searching, and found a link that explains that this is a hoax. Still pretty funny though!

Dragon Illusion

I guess this one has been around for a long time, but this is the first time I've seen it - in this form at least. I've seen the hollow face illusion in Spencer's Gifts stores, and at amusement parks, but this one is pretty darn neat.

Why? Well, for one reason, you can download the PDF, and make one of your own! I did this, and it looks as good as the one in the video. It only took me about 10 minutes to make.

Update: I hadn't really looked around that site, but now that I have, I've discovered a lot of neat optical illusions and magic. If you like that sort of thing, I recommend sending a few minutes looking around the site. On one of the optical illusion pages, there is an interesting video of a guy who's head appears to pop off, and land in his hands! Very well done!

Mountain Dew Shower Gel

Omigod, I think I could be in heaven. Bathing in Mountain Dew is like the last step in Dew godliness, I think. Like, this soap actually feeds Caffeine into your body through your skin:

Manufacturers claim their Shower Shock soap releases caffeine that is absorbed into the user's system and provides the same hit as a two cups of coffee.

Now if I can just figure out how to order the stuff...

Zombie Claus

Oh no! Not Zombie Claus!!

Yeah, it's an old post on LaughingSquid.com, but I came across it looking for pictures of zombies (don't ask), and thought I'd share. What's with the kid anyway? He looks authentically scared there.

Actually, besides the pile of fake brains, and severed feet in the background, he's a pretty sad Zombie Claus.

Delete a Print Job... GUARANTEED

I have this happen on occasion. I'm printing multiple copies of something, and suddenly, the printer stops. No errors, no weird printing, it just stops. I always think that the printer has printed all the copies I asked for (tonight it was 40), and figure all is well.

Then, I try to print something else. Nothing. Nothing at all. First reaction? Let's check the printer queue, and see what's going on. I look, and there's the document I printed earlier, and nothing else. The heck? Okay, so the logical next step is to "Cancel Document", and move on to bigger and better things.... except that this does not work. Sure, the little window SAYS it is canceling the document, but the damn thing never goes away. I can turn the printer off, and the computer off, and then everything back on, and its STILL there.

Every time before that this has happened to me, I fiddle for an hour, and then, without explanation, the stupid document goes away, and I'm running again. I never know what the magic set of keystrokes are that ultimately rid me of the printer gremlin, and so every time it happens, it costs me another hour of frustrating troubleshooting.

This time, I got smart. I decided to google the words "delete printing queue win XP" (I forgot to mention this is on a Win XP machine). I find a link (click title above) to this article on SearchWinComputing.com that basically walks you through the process of shutting off the spooler, killing the jobs manually (I'm actually deleting files!!), and starting the spooler back up again. Sweet. I was up and running in no time. I can't tell you how much joy it gave me to delete the troublesome files. They actually vanish the instant you press delete - imagine that! Definitely the neatest new computer trick I've learned in a long long time.

In case the article goes away (the internet is flaky like that), I'm going to reproduce the important bit here. I hope this is helpful to someone else out there:

If you're trying to delete a specific stuck print job, take note of the job's approximate time and date. Then do the following:

1. Close all open Printers folders.
2. Stop the Spooler service. In Windows 2000, this is done through the Services icon in Administrative Tools (found in the Control Panel); in Windows NT 4.0, it's done through the Services icon in the Control Panel. You can also stop the Spooler by typing NET STOP SPOOLER at a command prompt. If you're using TCP/IP Printing Services, you'll need to stop that service as well.
3. Open the %Winroot%System32SpoolPrinters directory (same in both operating systems). Make sure Explorer is set to view hidden and system files.
4. Delete all *.SPL and *.SHD files in that directory that match the time/date stamp of the job you're trying to kill. If you're trying to purge everything, delete all files with those extensions.
5. Close the Printers folder and restart the stopped services. You can restart the Spooler from the command line by typing NET START SPOOLER.

If you have too many "dead" spool files in the directory, you may also get this error whenever you try to print:

An application error has occurred and an application error log is being generated.
SPOOLSS.EXE (SPOOLSV.EXE in Win2K)
Exception: access violation (0xc0000005), Address:

This indicates that the directory may be overloaded with printer spooler files and needs to be cleaned. Also check into the system's TEMP directories and remove any *.TMP files. These can also be an obstacle; some printer drivers use the TEMP directory for rasterization of print jobs.

Mr. McGroovy's Box Rivets

Wow, this is pretty cool. You can buy these "Box Rivets", and then build just about anything with cardboard.

As I'm a magician, and there are quite a few cardboard stage tricks out there, I think I'm going to be ordering a few of these.

Now, where the heck am I going to get some refridgerator boxes to build me a pirate ship... Yarrr!!

All Hail Dewkid!

I just posted this message:

Listen

!!

Flash 9.0.28 Crashes Netscape 7.2

I've always been a non-conformist, and as such, have clung to Netscape 7.2 for probably too long. I refuse to use IE on a regular basis, and even upgrading to Netscape 8.0 or beyond is repugnant to me. Don't talk to me about Mozilla: yeah, I tried it, but Netscape 7.2 is just so... stable.

Today, a happy little window popped up on my screen to inform me that a new version of Adobe Flash was available. Without thinking, I clicked "Install", and a few seconds later, it went away. All seemed good...

...until I visited my first website with a Flash movie. Suddenly, I was presented with the Microsoft crash dialog, and I quickly pressed Dont Send. The first time it happened, I thought it was a fluke, but after several tries to multiple sites, it dawned on me that Flash was the culprit.

Using IE, I pulled up Google, and typed the words "Flash Crashes Netscape", and after looking through some false hits, found this forum where others have seen this behavior. Following a link in that forum, I was able to download Flash Player 9.0.16 from here, and the flash uninstaller from here.

I uninstalled Flash 9.0.28, installed Flash 9.0.16, and all is well again. I didn't even have to reboot! Whew!

Now do you see why I hate to upgrade? I'm keeping Netscape 7.2 as long as I can, which mean Bill Gate can pry it from my cold dead fingers. No, change that. I wont DIE for it, but I will put up a good fight! Well, maybe an argument. Okay, if Bill asks me nicely I may switch to IE, but he's gunna have to see my angry face!

No Bag Babies!

For Christmas this year, we decided to buy Dell laptops for our two oldest girls. The primary reason is for schoolwork, but surfing barbie.com or playing Zoo Tycoon never hurt either. They will also give them a chance to communicate on a more regular basis with their Grandparents who live 1000 miles away.

We ordered the laptops at a mall kiosk, and they arrived in record time (3 days!). Each laptop was in its own box. Inside the box was another box that contained accessories, and a styrofoam shell which protected the actual laptop. Opening the shell, the laptop is sealed in a foamy bag that sported a graphic of a suffocating child (see pic). Though I understood its meaning, my first reaction was to laugh at the image. My brother-in-law pointed out that it would make a good T-Shirt. Hmmm, I may just do that.

Mystery Science Theatre Mp3000

This is too cool. A friend of mine (posts here as Seymour) pointed out a new website to me:

   http://www.rifftrax.com/

If you ever watched MST3000, you'll recognize what this is right away. Essentially, these guys take movies, and then add a track of commentary to poke fun at it. This used to be on the Sci-Fi channel, but I don't think its on anymore.

Anyway, the website allows you to download the commentary as an MP3 file for any of the movies they have listed (there are quite a few now), and then play them in sync with the DVD of the movie that you provide (own or rent). I tried this with the latest release "Reign of Fire", and it was a blast. Very good comedy, and worth every penny (did I mention that there is a $2-3 charge for the download?)

The only pain, is that the MP3 file is too long to fit on a single CD (which is how I chose to play it). I had to use some software to split the MP3 into two chunks, and burn it to two CDs. The recommended way to listen to the track is with an MP3 player (ie., iPod). We actually have a couple of iPods, but no real way to play it through my stereo, which is where the TV is. I suppose I could have played the DVD on or near my computer, or even used the new iPod speakers I bought my wife for Christmas, but what's the fun in that!! :-)

Check it out, I dare ya!

Move to Blog Beta

Okay, I wasn't going to do this, but then I did. I guess its cuz I was going to have to do it anyway. So, here I am on blogger beta, and things look a little different. Guess I'll get used to it.

Carnival Magic Show

Yesterday, my kids elementary school had a carnival. I had volunteered to setup a magic show booth for the kids, and do several shows. I went back and forth about being excited about it, and regretting it (too much work!), but now that its come and gone, I'm extremely happy I did it.

I built this booth out of PVC piping and black duck cloth (no, not made from ducks: its a heavy canvas that prevents light from passing through - very effective). It's kind of a pain to transport, but once it is setup, its very cool. I have this golden shimmering curtain which adds some flair to the booth, and give it the necessary "magic show" type of appearance. I put up a black bulletin board with my name ("The Mystery Magician") and showtimes (I did three shows: 3:30pm, 4:30pm and 5:30pm).

The first show I was a little nervous. You see, I normally do these things for birthday parties, and usually in someone's backyard or living room. This time, however, the engagement was an open forum, and anyone who wanted to see a magic show, needed only to sit down in front of the booth at the specified time. Anyway, the first show started off a bit slow, because there weren't that many people there at the start (10-20?). Once I got started, the audience (which was standing - first mistake!) slowly edged closer and closer, until I was being pressed back into my booth. Nevertheless, they seemed to enjoy themselves, and I had a ball showing off some of my best tricks.

The second show was different. This time, word had gotten around, and a MOB of people (adults and children alike) showed up. There had to be something like 50-70 people there! I encouraged them to sit on the ground (to prevent the press), and had demarked a line on the ground so they wouldn't get too close. The 2nd show was wonderful. I did some different tricks (for those repeat attenders), and some same tricks. The audience was one of the best I had ever performed for, and there was lots of interaction. Many of the kids would shout out that they knew how I did the trick, and then their jaws would drop to the ground when I changed it up. Pure joy!

The 3rd show was definitely the best, as I pulled out the stops. I did everything, from Cups and Balls, to Hippity-Hop Rabbits, to Rising Deck, to Cut-and-Restored rope. Some of the tricks I didn't think would play well, turned out to be my biggest hits (Stiff Rope, and Dove Pan)!

On Tuesday, I have my big Halloween show, where I will be levitating a Jack-O-Lantern, cutting my daughter's arm in two, and walking through barbed wire. Wish me luck!

Dancing Bananas?!?

This is another one of those things that probably amuses me more than it should, much like Corn Cob Bob. I discovered the dancing banana on a little chat widget on Moody Minstrel's Blog, and have probably overdone my welcome there. :-) Still, that little dancing banana is so fun to watch (I enjoy the simple pleasures), especially in great numbers. So, tip one back for the dancing banana! Huzzah!

UPDATE 7/11/06 - Apparently, there is a Dancing Banana wiki entry. Check it out!

UPDATE 8/29/06 - Pa've suggested a dancing Goon. Though his picture is taken down, he looks something like an overgrown pickle. I know this is a cucumber, but it wouldn't take a lot of time to modify in a gif editor to make a dancing Goon!!

Mmmmmm, Hamwinkies

Courtesy of "The Soup", these little treats are a meal and a snack, all in one! Great for backpacking, camping, boating, clubbing, or taking on your first date. Imagine her surprise when you whip one of THESE bad boys out!

Can't find them in stores? Print out the picture, and show the store manager. I'm sure they'll place an order right away, because no-one can resist these little guys!! I'm going to have one right now..... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Hats of Meat

I remember seeing this site once a long time ago, and then it vanished. A recent google search reveals that this site has returned once again, and it is bigger and better than ever! There's a fairly large section of photos people have sent in, showing their own hats of meat.

mmmmMMMMMEAT!

Cream of Meat

The sun is just peeking up over the horizon, and you are straggling out of bed, looking for something to break your fast. Cereals don't give you what you need, and toast just aint cutting it. You need some Cream of Meat! Mmmmm that delicious red meaty goodness in a box! Make yourself a nice steamy bowl of Cream of Meat, and get your day started right!

Meat Moss

If your lawn is looking a bit worn and tired, you're probably not giving it enough MEAT!! Try Meat Moss, and you'll see a change in your lawn that will make your neighbors jealous! Imagine having everyone over for a BBQ, and hearing comments like:

"What a firm healthy lawn!"
"That red grass really looks nice!"
"Where's Timmy?"

Yes, you'll be the envy of the neighborhood with Meat Moss!

Silly Signs Blog

I just discovered this today: a blog that posts pictures of silly signs that people have photographed. Definitely worth a visit!

Mmmm Meat Thins

Mmmmmm. It's late, and you are looking for that perfect snack to enjoy while watching the latest episode of Cops on your TiVo. Pretzels and Chips are too salty, and just not filling. Popcorn will do you good, but it just doesn't satisfy. You don't really want the sweet sweet taste of chocolate, because what you really want is some MEAT.

Meat Thins are juicy square morsels of meat packed in an airtight box that you can snack on anytime! Mmmmmm, I love those Meat Thins.

Donate Meat

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEAT!!

Which Star Trek character are you?

Apparently, I'm Beverly Crusher:

A good physician and a caring parent.
You are devoted to your children
and to your occupation.

SpaceSuit Satellite

This is just strange. I guess its a good way to get rid of some trash....

MEAT!

I don't know the source of this text, and neither did the person who sent it my way. I googled the first line, and came across a link that took me to the page linked above (click on MEAT!). Apparently this was printed in OMNI April 1991, credited to Terry Bisson. Since I think anything with the word MEAT in it is funny anyway (don't ask), I found this to be side-splitter:

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"

"So... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"So what does the meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat?"

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we can mark this sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."

Who is DewKid?

One Week Away!

Listen ye skalliwags, me favorite day is approachin' quick (barely half-a-fortnight!), and I expect this here ship to be ready. Swab the decks, and fly the Jolly Roger, 'cuz we've got ships to scuttle, and grog to swill! Arrrrr!!!



UPDATE
Just got these TLAPD pointers from Cap'n Slappy, and Ol' Chumbucket themselves:

* Aaarr! – Intersperse it into your conversation to add a patina of pirattitude! But remember – A little Aarrr! goes a long way.

* Me hearties – When all else fails, throw "me hearties" into any conversation. "Fill it with unleaded, me hearties!" "The doctor will see you now, me hearties!" "I'll have a pepperoni pizza with anchovies, me hearties!" See? You sound just like a freebooter fillin' his tank, or visitin' the doctor or whatever!

* At work – Don't answer the phone, "Hello? This is marketing ...." or whatever department ye work in. Scrunch up yer face and bellow into the blower, "Ahoy ye scurvy dog! How can I scuttle ye today!"

* At school – yer teacher is cap'n, yer principal is Admiral Wobblebottom, the class is yer crew and lunch is prepared in the galley.

* At parties and buccaneer bashes all weekend long – Make yer entrance to the cry, "Boarders away!" and make sure that any lubbers there know exactly who has the pirattitude and who doesn't.

* Where ever you are – Start the day by sending everyone you know a hearty "Aarrr!" in their e-mail or by phone. Ye'll feel better for it.

Hurricane Support at Walmart

I figure its worth breaking my "DewKid Blog" silence for this:

I heard this morning that WalMart was accepting donations for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. You can go into any store, and donate money at any cashier.

Red Cross could always use the help too.

I'm looking at pictures of the damage and flooding in New Orleans: Oh My God. Lets all come together to help our fellow Americans in this time of crisis.

... and thus the end

I haven't posted in a long while, and probably wont again. I'm tempted to delete this blog altogether, but I'm hesistant to do so for some reason.

Instead, I encourage you to visit my other, much more active blog: RealmSpeak.

Later!

DewKid

Lazy Baby filled with Beans

I found this little cardboard heart in my car the other day. Seeing as I have three little girls, it likely fell off some doll that we purchased a while back.

Still, the title of the doll amused me, and I find myself using this sentance in regular everyday discussion:

"So, did you watch the debate on TV?"

"Nah, I'm just a lazy baby filled with beans."

Ngyaad!